It's Been Awhile

Yes, I have been a negligent blogger. Then I was reminded by Sybir, who is incredible at keeping up her posts, that I should be blogging ... it's good for the writing soul.

But I've been out of the game for awhile. I've been working on growing my side business with my husband, which is a good reason. Though it is not the only reason.

I was depressed, frustrated, and angry with the publishing business and writing in general.

I wanted to see progress in my writing career, and I was getting nowhere. Many of the writers I had met when I first became serious about making this a career are well on their way to success with multiple books published.

What happened to me? Where did I go wrong? Am I not good enough? Did I not try hard enough?

I attended workshops. I read books on writing. I wrote and rewrote and revised some more until I got a blister on my pinkie and my eyesight worsen. But I got rejection, after rejection, after rejection.

I felt like an abject failure. I didn't deserve to be in the company of writers—or to call myself a writer.

But progress doesn't have to be measured in publishing contracts. It can be measured in improvement in writing. It can be measured in growth of character from dealing with each rejection. It can be measured in the bonds formed on the battlefield with others who are going through—or have gone through—the same ordeals.

I made up my mind that I want to succeed in this business. And if that's the case, I need to treat this like a job. I need to focus my energies on crafting the best story I can. And, most importantly, I need to believe in myself.

Happy Halloween

One of my favorite times of years. When on nearly every channel is something scary, spooky, or wickedly creepy. Ahhh ... can't every day be like this? Really, it's so much fun!

I've had conversations with many of my friends—some who are horror fans and others ... not so much—on why I love scary stories. Can't say this is why others are attracted to them, but these are my reasons. Feel free to add your own:

1. Good vs. Evil
   In many horror movies, there is strong, well-defined line between good and evil. And, in most cases, good triumphs (unless there's a sequel). In real life, there is so much gray with the "bad" not getting what's coming to it. It's nice to see it played out on the screen with the "bad" getting an ax through it's hideous head. Makes me feel vindicated.
   
2. Adrenaline Rush
   Well-played horror movies will make you squirm in your seat, will make you cover your eyes, will make you scream aloud to stop the person about to cross Jason's path. Meanwhile, our adrenaline is pumping, sending a rush of excitement through our veins akin to riding a roller coaster or bungee jumping, but we're comfortably—and safely—sitting in our own sofa with the ability to turn off the TV, if we get too scared. But, really, doesn't it feel good to get that scared?
3. Fight and Flight
   I remember reading that we don't encounter too many "fight or flight" situations like our ancient ancestors. These movies tap into these primitive feelings, tap into our ancient fear of the dark and everything that dwells there, which is actually healthy.
   
4. Philosophy
   I was talking to a friend who was lamenting that we don't have any modern-day philosophers. But I countered that we did, they are writers. Movies can reflect the ideologies of the time, what that generation fears. Look at each generation's horror movies and I bet it would say a lot about that era.
   
5. Strong Women
   What do Halloween, Friday the 13th, Alien, Hellraiser, Nightmare on Elm Street, and countless others have in common? Women kick ass! Sure you have some requisite boob shots. But it is the female protagonist who uses her intelligence, instead of her sexuality, to win over evil. I would contend that the horror genre was the first genre to feature a strong female protagonist, who kills the baddie no matter how huge, magical or maniacal it is.
   

Hmmmm

On my iPhone, I have a "cool facts" application. It's a great app for making conversation because some interesting things pop up like

• In its ancient form, the carrot was purple, not orange.
• A lump of pure gold the size of a matchbox can be flattened into a sheet the size of a tennis court.
• The higher the income, the more likely an American man will cheat on his wife. (Hmmm ... I've actually had this validated recently by a woman I met.)
• There are 293 ways to make change for a dollar.
• During your lifetime, you'll eat about 60,000 pounds of food, that's the weight of about 6 elephants. (kind of gross)
• The testicles of the octopus is located in its head. (I believe that is true for human males as well, but mostly their brain.)
• Snails breathe through their feet.
• In an average lifetime a person will walk the equivalent of three times around the world.
• The oldest pig lived to 68.
• Baskin Robbins once made ketchup ice cream. (Did you put that over a hot dog?)
  

But the one that really caught my eye (and I still need to verify this but I think it's true):

Women who read romances make love 75% more often to their spouses.

There you have it! Even more reason to buy romances and why all men should be running to the stores now. :)

Funnies

I love writing funny scenes, reading funny scenes, seeing funny movies, hanging with funny people ... whatever ... I just love to laugh.

"Laugh and the world laughs with you. Weep, and you weep alone." —Ella Wheeler Wilcox

I keep a collection of joke e-mails and funnies sent to me that particularly get me rolling on the floor. I enjoy comedians and writers who can find a joke in a tense situation (Joss Whedon comes to mind.). I try to weave humor into my stories because I enjoy breaking up particularly tough moments with lighthearted ones—part of the whole roller coaster experience the reader will go through in my stories. Plus, it helps me relate to my characters more. Sharing a laugh with someone—either a real or imaginary someone—is a great way to create a bond, just like sharing a cry, except you feel way better after.

Do you have to be a funny person to write funny fiction?

I debate this question often. People's humor run the gamut from Jerry Seinfeld to Jerry Lewis. Some prefer slapstick. Others like the dark comedies of the Coen brothers. I believe that you need to have a sense of humor to write humor. I also believe that you can't take yourself too seriously and write humorous scenes. To write humor, you need to be able to laugh at yourself, find humor in your own foibles. Otherwise, how can you write comedic scenes if you haven't experience similar moments yourself? A large part of writing is about conveying emotion. Humor is another emotion you can use to touch the reader and bring them into your story.

Dave Barry, syndicated humor columnist and best selling author, wrote an fun piece about writing humor: http://www.learner.org/catalog/extras/interviews/dbarry/db02.html.

A few more resources for humor writing ideas:
http://www.jimforeman.com/Books/WriteHumor/humor_menu.htm
http://humorblogging.com/blog/secret-to-writing-humor/
http://www.humorwriters.org/
http://www.writerswrite.com/journal/may02/hornung.htm

Remember, humor is another tool in your arsenal to hook readers. Plus, isn't it a great feeling to know that you made someone smile?

And to make you smile today, here are some one liners from the old school version of Hollywood Squares sent to me via e-mail from Ma (this one was a keeper):

These great questions and answers are from the days when the "Hollywood Squares" game show responses were spontaneous, not scripted, as they are now. Peter Marshall was the host asking the questions ...

Q. Paul, what is a good reason for pounding meat?
A. Paul Lynde (About fifteen seconds later): Loneliness!

Q. Do female frogs croak?
A. Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water long enough.

Q. If you're going to make a parachute jump, at least how high should you be?
A. Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it.

Q. True or False, a pea can last as long as 5,000 years.
A. George Gobel: Boy, it sure seems that way sometimes.

Q. You've been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably a man or a woman?
A. Don Knotts: That's what's been keeping me awake.

Q. According to Cosmopolitan, if you meet a stranger at a party and you think that he is attractive, is it okay to come out and ask him if he's married?
A. Rose Marie: No wait until morning.

Q. Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older?
A. Charley Weaver: My sense of decency.

Q. In Hawaiian, does it take more than three words to say 'I Love You'?
A. Vincent Price: No, you can say it with a pineapple and a twenty.

Q. What are 'Do It,' 'I Can Help,' and 'I Can't Get Enough'?
A. George Gobel: I don't know, but it's coming from the next apartment.

Q. As you grow older, do you tend to gesture more or less with your hands while talking?
A. Rose Marie: You ask me one more growing old question Peter, and I'll give you a gesture you'll never forget.

Q. Paul, why do Hell's Angels wear leather?
A. Paul Lynde: Because chiffon wrinkles too easily.

Q. Charley, you've just decided to grow strawberries. Are you going to get any during the first year?
A. Charley Weaver: Of course not, I'm too busy growing strawberries.

Q. In bowling, what's a perfect score?
A. Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy.

Q. It is considered in bad taste to discuss two subjects at nudist camps. One is politics, what is the other?
A. Paul Lynde: Tape measures.

Q. During a tornado, are you safer in the bedroom or in the closet?
A. Rose Marie: Unfortunately Peter, I'm always safe in the bedroom.

Q. Can boys join the Camp Fire Girls?
A. Marty Allen: Only after lights out.

Q. When you pat a dog on its head he will wag his tail. What will a goose do?
A. Paul Lynde: Make him bark?

Q. If you were pregnant for two years, what would you give birth to?
A. Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never be afraid of the dark.

Q. According to Ann Landers, is there anything wrong with getting into the habit of kissing a lot of people?
A. Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army.

Q. It is the most abused and neglected part of your body, what is it?
A. Paul Lynde: Mine may be abused, but it certainly isn't neglected.

Q. Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put horseradish on his head, what was he trying to do?
A. George Gobel: Get it in his mouth.

Q. Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time, your wife or your elephant?
A. Paul Lynde: Who told you about my elephant?

Q. When a couple have a baby, who is responsible for its sex?
A. Charley Weaver: I'll lend him the car, the rest is up to him

Q. Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes in them and has actually seen them on at least two occasions. What are they?
A. Charley Weaver: His feet.

Q. According to Ann Landers, what are two things you should never do in bed?
A. Paul Lynde: Point and laugh

The World Through a Blurry Lens

I haven't been posting lately because I just got PRK done and can't see too well. Apparently, they were not so forthcoming with the recovery time. So far it's been almost a week and I can't see well enough to drive and can only limit myself to a few minutes at a time on the computer before things start to blur together. Honestly, if I had a few drinks it wouldn't be so bad ...

So it's given me time to ponder and reflect and—Sybir would be happy—meditate. As per my initial goals when I returned from the conference, I have sent out 4 queries (3 agents, 1 editor). I received 1 rejection back, so I'm well on my way to winning my contest with Sybir for 10 rejections. Though it is definitely a contest I don't mind losing.

Okay, words are blurry together and I'm going to take a quick break. More to come soon. :)

RWA Conference

Just started to recoup from RWA conference which seemed a lot larger this year. Between workshops (Donald Maas gave an excellent one on fire in your writing) and keynotes where Janet Evanovich talked about burning a bin full of rejections and socializing with fellow writers and friends, I feel like it was a total whirlwind of activity. Couple of highlights:

• Meeting and rooming with Kate Johnson (aka Cat Marsters), who is a fantastic, witty woman and who put up with my hyperness very well. (And she has great taste in men, shoes, clothes, pop culture, and fictional hotties. Really, why is she so far away?) I'm looking forward to reading her books that her two personalities write: Kate Johnson writes chick-lit mysteries of Sophie Green and Cat Marters writes sexy (and smart) paranormal romance for Changeling Press and Ellora's Cave. We had a wonderful time hanging out at the conference, even if she attempted to steal my dog at the end of it. :P
  
• Rooming with Sybir and getting to see her do an excellent presentation on relaxation techniques for writers. I was so proud of her and how far she's come in her public speaking. She's doing a writing challenge: write 500 words a day and collect 10 rejections per month. I LOVE the idea of collecting rejections. I needed something to steer my mind away from receiving the DREADED rejection. If I make a game out of it, then I won't get stuck on the negative and it will force me to send out to more agents and editors. One of my major issues.
• Finally getting my wonderful friend E. Tate Johnson, who has been working on a fabulous story for the past few years, to attend a conference. It was so much fun seeing her meet other writers and get inspired and AWAY from the stresses of life for awhile. Yay!
• Hanging out with Marcia Collette, whose career is really taking off (not to mention a very special event happening in a few months). She writes Urban Fantasy and has books with Parker Publishing and Samhain. Can't wait to check them out. She is absolutely a force to be reckon with and an amazing person and woman. Her enthusiasm is infectious! I never stop laughing with I'm with her.
  
• Seeing Karmela and trying to convince her to join us again. She has a fantastic writing style and is really denying the writing world a talent by not submitting right now.
• Hanging out with Karen and dragging her around DC–poor thing. Though I cannot thank her enough for her encouragement. I get by with a little help from my friends. :)
• Seeing Ann, who is sooooo close to selling, and telling her not to give up. She is such an easygoing, positive person. She's the best.
• Having dinner and a coffee with Maya Rodale, one of my critique partners, who has some big things planned and I'll keep you posted on her next books coming out soon. She's got a great idea. Can't wait to read it. She's a wonderful writer and friend and she is doing amazing things besides writing. Her and Ann have established the Share the Love organization. If you have any gently used romance novels, ship them to the address on their site and they will distribute them to women's shelters and other places where women are in need of a pick me up. Romances are shown to make people happier who read them, why not share the romance, share the love?
• Having dinner and dessert with Alix Rickloff. She is such a fun, down-to-earth person and I'm so happy for her success. I'm reading her book Lost in You now, and it is a wonderful, unique story (and the hero is very sexy). I picked up her second book in the series that deal with Fey set in the Georgian period. She'll have more stories set in this world out next year. She's a rising star. Yay!
• Alix suggesting that I go through an agent list and just keep submitting down the list as I get rejections. All the while, I should continue working on my revisions to my latest story. When I get to the bottom of the list, start again at the top of the list with the next story (and begin another book). She said it will at least get my name on agents' desk and they'll start remembering it. I LOVED this idea. This is why I enjoy hanging with writers and it's so important to join organization—for the support and fantastic ideas.
• Seeing Laurel, Victoria, and all my other friends from WRW and being excited for the wonderful successes they had.
  
• Learning from Donald Maas that I should think about my story from the villain's persective. How this will help keep the villian three dimensional.
• Learning from another workshop about using props and locations and even what people are wearing to build in characterization. How a charater sets up their home or dresses can say volumes without being too overt. Very cool.

I'm sure there's lots more, but now I need to get back to writing. I need to beat Sybir at the rejection game: one way or another.

It's Been Awhile

I haven't felt like writing in awhile. I have a long "to do" list and I was getting very discouraged. Plus, I felt stuck, paralyzed, afraid to move ahead. Instead, I was focusing on work and places in my life where I felt I was more successful and could see instantly my goals being met. Ugh! But now that RWA Conference is coming up and after having spoken to a fellow writer, who was very encouraging today, I'm getting back in the swing of things again. I'm getting my mojo back. Whoo Hoo!

And to celebrate my mojo being reawaken, I'm copying some quotes from one of my favorite silver screen actresses. More to come later on the writing front...

From Mae West, the queen of the double entendré:

A dame that knows the ropes isn't likely to get tied up.

Ten men waiting for me at the door? Send one of them home, I'm tired.

A man has one hundred dollars and you leave him with two dollars, that's subtraction.

A woman in love can't be reasonable - or she probably wouldn't be in love.

Any time you've got nothing to do and lots of time to do it come on up.

Anything worth doing is worth doing slowly.

Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before.

Cultivate your curves - they may be dangerous but they won't be avoided.

It is better to be looked over than overlooked.

Don't keep a man guessing too long - he's sure to find the answer somewhere else.

She's the kind of girl who climbed the ladder of success wrong by wrong.

Don't marry a man to reform him - that's what reform schools are for.

Every man I meet wants to protect me. I can't figure out what from.

Say what you want about long dresses, but they cover a multitude of shins.

Opportunity knocks for every man, but you have to give a woman a ring.

Save a boyfriend for a rainy day - and another, in case it doesn't rain.

Give a man a free hand and he'll run it all over you.

He's the kind of man a woman would have to marry to get rid of.

His mother should have thrown him out and kept the stork.

One and one is two, and two and two is four, and five will get you ten if you know how to work it.

Love thy neighbor - and if he happens to be tall, debonair and devastating, it will be that much easier.

I believe in censorship. I made a fortune out of it.

I generally avoid temptation unless I can't resist it.

I like restraint, if it doesn't go too far.

I'll try anything once, twice if I like it, three times to make sure.

I only like two kinds of men, domestic and imported.

When I'm good I'm very, very good, but when I'm bad, I'm better.

I've been things and seen places.

Those who are easily shocked should be shocked more often.

When women go wrong, men go right after them.